Biotch with Wifi
by Geniveve Josephine
Summary: How I think the encounter between Team Arrow and Merlyn should go in 3x10: Mr. Merlyn has just been prescribed a hefty dose of his own medicine, courtesy of one Felicity Smoak, totally over-qualified former EA and Starling City's most fashionable IT girl. (Tweaked the title so it wouldn't get taken down.)
1. The Illness

AN: Hey, everyone! Now, I know that this isn't an update for "Getting Even" and I know that I promised you all I would add to that story soon (and I will! Just bear with me!), but Arrow comes back this Wednesday and this story, no matter how hard I tried to ignore it, just would not stop (kind of like Felicity when she babbles). This is how I want the encounter between team Arrow and Merlyn in 3x10 to go. Let's face it, Malcolm needs someone to give him a taste of his own meds, and who better to do that than our epically badass Girl Wednesday? So here we go! Enjoy!

0o0o0

The three of them had just finished another successful mission and had sent another robber up the river to Captain Lance. Even though they worked pretty well together, each member of Team Arrow (although they don't call themselves that except for Felicity on occasion) could feel the emptiness that comes from missing a crucial part of the group. It felt like missing a limb or vital organ.

In the three days since Oliver left to go duel the most dangerous man on the planet, the rest of team Arrow was doing its best to keep going. But they were beginning to get worried.

As they were getting to leave and grab a bit at Big Belly Burger, a noise behind them made them turn around. Immediately Digg pulled out his gun and Roy grabbed a throwing knife, both of them aimed at Malcolm Merlyn. Felicity froze, tablet in hand.

She spoke first. "What the hell are you doing here? Don't you have puppies to kick or little kids to traumatize?"

Malcolm chuckled. "While those do sound like amusing pastimes for me, I'm not here for that, or to hurt any of you. So you can put the weapons away." Malcolm looked at Roy and Digg.

John said, "Thanks for the tip, but no way in hell."

Roy, "What he said." with a nod to the man next to him.

Malcolm shrugged. "Anyway, like I said I'm here about young Mr. Queen." He turned to Felicity. "Oliver. Is he still alive?"

"He's alive." she said.

"Have you heard from him since he went off to face Ra's Al Ghul?"

Felicity hesitated. "He's alive."

Malcolm simply looked at her. "You and I both know if that were true he would have sent some sort of message by now, especially to you" he said to Felicity. Turning toward all three of them he said, "Oliver Queen is dead."


	2. The Diagnosis

AN: As always, reviews are welcome! Let me know what else you might want to see in this story!

0o0o0

Silence.

That is what fills the Foundry, fondly known as the Arrow cave (although Oliver doesn't call it that. Ever). Roy and Digg are frozen in shock, and for what seems to be only the second time ever, Felicity is speechless. All she can think is _no_.

John breaks first. "How exactly are we supposed to believe that coming from you since you are a compulsive liar and a raging psychopath?"

Malcolm looks at him calmly and reaches for the bag at his side that no one seems to have noticed until now. He pulls out something long and slender, wrapped in cloth. Felicity can see flecks of blood on it. Not being able to look at that anymore, she turns away toward her beloved computers. All she can hear is a buzzing in her ears while Malcolm drones on about traditions and customs of the League so as to explain why there is now a sword with dried blood on it sitting on the med table, the one where Oliver and Felicity had spent countless times playing doctor.

"_Oh_" she thinks. "_My brains thinks of the worst way to think things_," as she cringes slightly. Looking blankly at the screens, she suddenly focuses on a security camera in the club. It's Thea's office, and the Queen in question is currently sitting at her desk, listening to music on her computer while doing finances and checking orders and inventory forms for the club.

Suddenly, it all becomes clear.

Felicity calmly reaches for her tablet, which had been set on the desk with her screen when she had turned toward them. While Malcolm was still talking, and her boys were beginning to argue with him, she was setting everything up with just a few swipes of her fingers.

Malcolm paused in his explanation, glancing toward Felicity. "You know you're not going to find him with that," gesturing to her trusty tablet.

Felicity paused, then took a deep breath and looked calmly at the three men who were looking at her in confusion.

"That's not what I'm doing, Mr. Merlyn."


	3. The Administration of Dose 1

AN: This is where it gets good and Felicity is a total badass. Enjoy!

0o0o0

Felicity looked calmly at the three men standing in the Foundry, who were looking back at her with curiosity.

Roy asked, "Then… What are you doing?"

Instead of answering him, felicity turned to Malcolm. After a few swipes, she said, "I want you to listen to something for me, Mr. Merlyn." Then she pressed play.

The crackle of static was all that could be heard for the first few seconds. Then…

"_Tommy!"_

"That's Oliver…" said Roy.

Now everyone was listening intently.

Comprehension dawned on Digg's face first as he realized what was playing, having been there and beard it himself. That same comprehension, followed by horror and sorrow, dawned on Malcolm's face as he realized what was playing.

Roy was still confused. He whispered, "What are we listening to?" to Diggle.

Felicity answered before he could. "This is a recording of Oliver and Tommy, during the quake. We were all still on the commas when it happened."

They all listened as Tommy died yet again. The Foundry was completely silent except for the recording, and because of it, they could all hear the very faint screams of Laurel calling for Tommy from outside CNRI. Then the recording cut off.

Malcolm simply stared at her.

"Did you hear all that, Mr. Merlyn?" she said softly. "Did you hear your son, who knew of the damage you had done, still plead for your life? Did you hear him think of you in his last moments?" Felicity looked down at her tablet.

You know, after the quake happened, Oliver tried to honor Tommy's memory, by vowing not to kill anymore." She chuckled once, sadly. "There was obviously a hiccup or two along the way, but he was trying."

She looked back up at Malcolm. "And what do you do? You take the only family he has left and turn her into a murderer." John and Roy were beginning to become seriously worried. Felicity wasn't yelling wasn't babbling, wasn't using her loud voice, didn't even seem angry. She just stood there, calmly, talking to Malcolm as if they were speaking of the weather.

Felicity continued. "You took the one thing that Oliver still had, which was also coincidentally a piece of Tommy, since she is his sister, and turned her into a monster."

Malcolm tried to interrupt, "I turned her into something stronger. I turned her into something that wouldn't get-"

"I. Wasn't. Finished."

Malcolm paused at the arctic tone. As good at the game as he his, he is beginning to think he might have underestimated his new opponent.


	4. Dose 2

AN: Felicity Smoak continues in her awesome badassness. Is that even a word? Anyway, enjoy!

0o0o0

Felicity, now glaring at Malcolm, continued. "You preyed on Thea's vulnerability, her desire to have someone love her, and used it to brainwash her into thinking you were any sort of decent human being.

You made her kill Sara.

You used her innocence. You used Oliver's complete and unconditional love for his little sister against him and forced him to pay for YOUR screw up."

Felicity's voice was slowly getting louder and more filled with hate and fury and sadness.

"You sent him on a suicide mission to kill the most dangerous man on the planet!" Suddenly, she paused, looking at Malcolm.

"You knew he wouldn't make it, didn't you?" she asked softly. "You know that Ra's would kill him."

Malcolm spoke, "I thought Oliver would be strong enough to take care of hi-"

"Don't you dare lie to me. Not about this," Felicity interrupted. "You had to know Oliver wouldn't have lasted against him. I mean, the man is an incredible fighter, we have seen that time and time again, but objectively speaking, Oliver only has five years of experience with training. I'm sure Ra's has spent his entire life fighting. So you had to know that Ra's would win." Felicity stared at Malcolm.

She figured it out.

"You wanted him out of the way," she said, realization in her voice. "You wanted to be the only one Thea had left so she would have no choice but to turn to you for help."

Malcolm said nothing, just looking at her.

John and Roy had been watching the conversation like a tennis match, heads moving back and forth between Felicity and Malcolm, their weapons forgotten.

Suddenly, Malcolm smiled pleasantly at Felicity. "Well, I think that" gesturing to the bloody sword, "is enough bad news for today. Good evening Mr. Diggle, Roy, Ms. Smoak." He turned to walk out of the Foundry.

"Not so fast, Mr. Merlyn. I'm not quite done yet." said Felicity.


	5. Dose 3

AN: Now for the real whammy.

"I want you to come look at something, Mr. Merlyn." Felicity took a few steps toward him, tilting her tablet so he could see. At first all he could comprehend were series of numbers. Then he realized what those numbers were. Malcolm's head snapped toward Felicity, shock in his eyes.

"How did you get these?" he asked, beginning to become slightly worried. Digg and Roy had sat down, still watching the conversation but ready at a second's notice.

"As deviously intelligent as you think you are, Mr. Merlyn, I just so happen to be a little more intelligent," she said, walking back toward her computers. She turned back toward him. "And I have a great WiFi signal."

Felicity then looked at him soberly. "As I keep proving, people lie. Computers don't. And yours was very forthcoming when I asked the right questions." Felicity again had her tablet at the ready, fingers hovering over the screen.

Malcolm began to walk toward her. "Be very careful-"

"Ah," she pointed at him quickly. "Any more steps closer and my finger might slip," said Felicity, holding the tablet.

John cut in. "Felicity, what's on your tablet?" he said, looking at her questioningly.

She glanced at him and said, "Numbers."

Roy asked, "What kind of numbers? Are we talking phone, coordinates, dates, what?"

Malcolm answered. "Account numbers."

Digg scoffed. "I wouldn't have thought losing your money would scare you. If we knew that, this would have been over a long time ago."

Felicity was already shaking her head. "These don't belong to Malcolm, Dig."

Merlyn finished. "They're Thea's."

0o0o0

AN: dun Dun DUN!


	6. Round 1 Dosage Complete

AN: And here comes the cure for what ails Mr. Merlyn

0o0o0

"Wait, why would you have Thea's money on your tablet?" asked Roy, trying to understand the complicated game that his pseudo-sister and the sperm donor of his ex-girlfriend were playing.

Felicity answered him by speaking to Malcolm.

"Here is what will happen. For every day that you don't turn yourself in to the League, I will drain one of Thea's accounts. And while you were good at helping her hide your blood money, I did manage to find enough to put a sizeable roadblock in Thea's plans for her future." Felicity abandoned the casual air with which she was speaking and finally let all of her anger show through.

"I will make you watch as little by little her life goes to the dumps. First, suppliers. Next, maybe the club itself. Then her fancy apartment. Everything she has will be gone. Then, I'll get rid of your properties." She saw Malcolm's eyebrows go up. "Yup. I found the other properties that you had under aliases. ALL of them."

Slowly walking closer to Malcolm, Felicity continued. "I will make you watch as her life is ruined. As she loses everything she ever cared about. And when you finally stand, completely alone, unable to do anything but watch her crumble, you'll know it was all your fault. Just like Tommy. Just like Robert Queen. Just like the hundreds of people who died in the quake. You will have no one to blame but yourself." Felicity ended her speech just a foot away from Malcolm, eyes bursting with fury.

Malcolm swallowed, realizing just how truly important Felicity was to this team. "Well," he said, picking up his coat. "It seems you have won this round, Ms. Smoak." He began walking out of the Foundry. "But I may not be so civil the next time we see each other." With that, Malcolm Merlyn left behind a very incomplete team Arrow.

But what he didn't know, what no one but Felicity knew, was that there was a certain young female club owner who was sitting in her chair in her office, work forgotten, in shock at what she had just seen and heard on her computer.

0o0o0

AN: Whew! So glad that's out of my head. Now I can get back to working on my other story. As always, tell me what you think in the reviews, and let me know if there is anything else from this storyline you want to see.


End file.
